Till now

For all is worth it.

Over at grands house now. Tiring day. Slept for 2 hours & soon, make our way out to pray at cck. Its the 100th day grandfather went on, thus.

With all the cousins around, it made our day more lively & of cause, happy. :D

Came back to grands house & played with cousins. They got all excited & went fighting & playing around. Even the smallest of us all join in our fun. Picture shall be update later. perhaps at night. (:

2 hours of fun & still going. Family is indeed important. (:

Movie date later with charis, I wonder if I could stay awake a not. Haha.

Tillthen.

I..

If you could write your future, how will you want it to be?

Short post ahead. (:

Got up, use lappy & soon, gotten a call & make my way to get prepare to go out. Reached & I waited for an hour. & then..

I was mad, very. Imagine... Ok, I shall not go blahblahblah-ing cause it doesnt help. Forget it, its over. Im not mad cause I waited but... Damn.

Cabbed back to yishun fetching charis from her school. Went to look up for yang. Watch youtube video & he never fail to scare people. What an arse right? ha!

Soon after, headed for home. Packed dinner back. Watched tv & came online.

I love my bff! (:

Was it me or was it you?

Feeling of the past.

Out today with T. T wants to be known as T thus. (:

I was late once again cause of the late night sleep. Actually I was asleep at 10.3o but got up at 2 & turn in only at 6. & Im suppose to meet T at 8.3o. Too use to sleeping late. So, no matter how early I turn in, I wont be able to sleep till the next day.

Made our way to drive through but it was under renovation. Ended up at kahtib mac. & we spend a long period of time waiting for bus cause T wanted to take bus. haha!

I was suppose to study but I didnt even though I promised I will start at 3 but I never. haha. T use lappy & I played psp, not mine, T's.

Had our lunch & T did funny stuff. From using a straw to poke those vegetables thats felling out of the foldover & then to sucking BBQ sause through the straw. haha!

Then I watch as T play viwawa. I cant help but laugh. Its racist thus its better leave unsaid. (: But it really got me laughing like mad.

Xuan join us after she ended school. Got her power point slides done & soon, we went off.

Back to np, gotten my stuff & homesweethome.

I, who know who he is doesnt know who he is.

It sad. Lots of things happen for the past few months. 2008 hasnt been great for me. Perhaps its life? Meant for me to find the way I wanna go & sort out my thoughts to enable me to get to somewhere where I should be? But, its so hard. Even a step took me so much courage.

Perhaps Im just useless.

It pain ones heart to know the fact that a friend by the age of 18 just pass on this way. Its the least expected that happened. It do send us crying in tears. I cant believe it when I hear about it. May you rest in peace.

It makes me thing about all the happening for the past few months upon the news. Life hasnt been great for me & I hate that even when I did try to make it better it never did change. This world, life, seems so nice, fun to be in, yet beyond thoughts it went for always.

Lifes vulerable. We tent to realise it only when its gone. Never did pay much attention when its still on-going. Whats left is nothing but regrets. But, I do hope we learn. Things always happen for a reason, we just have to take it cause we cant change it. It life, life.

Recently, earthquaks & the deadly cyclone cause thousands of life. Indeed it was hurtful to see such a thing happen. Natural disaster, it just came & go taking so much with them.

This few months, I learned. Or perhaps it should be 'I realised'. Life dont wait for us, it just keep going. Thing happen & we have to move on. I know but I didnt manage to do so. It hard to get over it. 2 of my family member just pass on. Right before lunar new year, they were fine & great. But, the last day joy, turn to tragedy. Grandfather went on his journey to another world with a sudden heart attack. Fews day later, great grandmum went over as well. It all too sudden & all we did was cry. Sad, I realised only when its too late. Now I finally know how much they meant to me. But only when they are gone.

Family problem hit me hard. I cant believe I knew about it. Girlfriends problem got me feeling really down too. It so hard for me to understand what was going on than. Its too much for us to take. Its all too sudden. But, Im great its better. Now, I heard about a friend who once was so good did something thats so heartbroking. I really wonder why all this happen before we get to know the reason for all.

Life, why do you have to play tricks on humans?

& I realised, I shouldnt pester you any longer. It only makes you hate me, not love me.

Vulerable

3am in the morning, recieved a call & realised that life is indeed unpredictable. Even though I may not really know you but, it does make one heart turn sour upon hearing that news. Rest In Peace, YanXian.

Damn those f-er!

People come & go, don't realise it only when its too late. Learn to cherish. I regretted. I miss grandfather, great grand mum & another great grand mum. ):

Slept for 2 hours & the rest of the time in bed thinking, tossing & turning. Life is really tough. I had a weird dream too.

Got up at 6 & recieved a message from jiali, so sweet of her, but seems like I may let her down. Yeemay is so cute, she wanted to morning call me but I was already preparing to go out. But still, its so nice of them. Advisor, charis, xiaomei & regina too. (: Thanks!

Today's paper was considered alright thanks to paper 2. Paper 1 is totally screwed. This time, for compo, its not because I had nothing in mind, but I misinterpreted & when out of point & only knew it at the very last min. Screwed! Paper 3 was alright just that didnt have enough time for it. Overall, Im quite please but still disappointed though. At least, relieved.

& I got to know a new friend, one private candidate, andres.

Orchard with charis after paper. Tired & I kept complaining. haha! Caught " what happen in vagas". It nice, I like. (:

Shop around, got my stuff & back to yishun. Sakura for dinner. Then over to np. Saw omella with owen. Talked about some stuff & then went our way. Saw yeemay & friend too. Soon after headed for home.

TIRED!

I just cant believe..

When everything ended, it all but memories left.

stress, sad, vexed, lose. In a state with a combination of feeling, which is so hard to handed. ):

Reached home only at 7 in the morning. We decided to stay over at 2oo+ mac cause charmaine was busy & we decided to wait for her & study at the same time.

Met a number of weird uncles. We were sitting there just chatting & he went by & knock on the window. It super irritating.

We went over to the prata shop for supper but its packed thus we packed over to mac to eat. Kept trying out those power supply but to no avail. Ate & continued chatting. Then, one weird uncle came sitting right in front of us when the other table wasnt even occupied. We stared at him & he actually looked back.

We make our way inside & continue talking. Decided to go out again cause the aircon was shut off. & we just kept talking. It some heart to heart talk. Its sad cause lots of things happened this year. Which had lot of impact & affected a number of people. I really hope it gets better.

Headed for home at around 6.50 cause charmaine wasnt coming over anymore. Packed breakfast, wanted to look for mummy but she wasnt there. So, make my way home. Ate, showered & went to bed.

Super tired the moment I woke up, lazy to get out from bed. Brothers friend was over for mahjong again. It hard to study. It too noisy. I just read up so compo. Im worried! I just stare at the question & my mind was in a blank. I cant brainstorm at all. I hope I dont go blank tomorrow. Im really really scare of paper1 like hell.

I really want to prove that I can but seems like it takes forever.

If you know how it feels.

Because I fail to hate you.

Im super tired at this vey moment. Before this post, 2 hours ago, I was suppose to blog. But, when I got to this page, I went laying down & fall asleep. The lappy went on & soon after 3 bar totally went dead. Damn, I dont even know if anyone talk to me. ):

Study section with regina today at bk & once again, I was late for an hour cause I got up at the meeting time. Brother was having his overnight mahjong once again yesterday. So, being a super kpo, I did not sleep either & helped my cousin.

Everything ended at 7. & fall asleep at that very moment I lay on the bed.

Miss the alarm totally. Didn't know how/who stop it either. Got up & started preparing. & soon, make my way over to bk.

Met her & we went to have our lunch at kfc. Headed to popular & stayed there to read up some chinese situational writing example books.

Went over to osim when we saw her sister working there. So, I sat at the uyoyo reading regina's compo book . It's super iche. haha.

Soon, we went back to bk. Saw steph, kelvin & one guy who I had no idea what was his name studying there too. Studied, studied, studied.. Jiali came! She was there to meet steph. Talked to her again, like always. I love talking to her. haha. (:

Went sakura for dinner. Very filling. The mee gorang wasnt spicy at all the time round, in fact theres taste of tomato sause. But, quite satificed. (:

Walked home after that with regina accompanying me walk to 200+ instead of the shortcut near neesooncc there. (:

Home with M,D & S. But, when I got up, all was out.

Going over somewhere to meet yeemay & charmaine later on to have supper. I hope I tired myself out today & tomorrow so I will be able to turn in the night before chinese paper. Just hope I dont get sick.

1 more day man! ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):

I wish, I wish, I wish...

I think of you.

Short post today cause not much happening. (:

Home the whole day. & I did situational writing which is hard like hell. I hope the one coming out will be easy. Please man! (:

Nothing much done cause I woke up late. Just did some compo reading up & look up some words. But still, it very little done. ): 2days time. So very dead-meat.

No dinner tonight so I fried nuggets to eat. Haha! (: Ok, Im gonna go.

Bk with reginatay tomorrow. (: Hope we do study. haha. (:

Tillthen.

I hope I wont love you anymore.

I always wonder what you're thinking.

I can sleep even thought Im tired like shit. Damn, Im so use to turning in late now. Daddy just asked me to get to bed earlier. He says its bad for my body sleeping at late hours. But Im so use to it. Shit, I kind of hate it now.

& my neighbour, he's such an arse. He never fail to be irritating.It 3 in the late night & hes screaming into his phone right beside me/outside the window. I went 'shhhhh-ing' him but he dont give it a damn. I louder my music a little to adknowledge him that hes being way too nosiy but he talks even louder. Shit arse!

I hope his house goes blackout again & won't be back to normal for days. & hope he forgotten all about his key when he goes out & get locked-out & had no place to let him stay over for a night. haha! I know its mean but I just cant help cursing that arse. haha.

Be nice, be nice.

Im gonna find something to do since I cant turn in. (: Tillthen.

Here's a boy who doesn't know what's in front of him;
& here's a girl who never learned how to let go.

I could.

Yet another day. Woke up late & idle around. Suddenly, I realise I was down with fever. No wonder I felt tired, lazy to get out of bed earlier in the day.

Went back to sleep at late afternoon & got up only at around 8. & fever was gone. (: Finally, food!

The whole day is wasted like always. 3 more days man! ): I just hope the situational writing don't get me killed. Damn, damn, damn..

HELP!

Even though I really love you,
but I let go.
No more faith, no more hope..

Happy 17th Birthday,

yapmeilin/yapyap/ml!

The super super 'tao' girl in NTN. lol. But, if you do know her, she's not that way. (: & She love patrick! :D & she's super organise with her work too. She never fails to plan her day. haha.

They love may the most. HAHA! Enjoy your day! :D

Turn the page & get going.

Up in the morning & woke charis up but that girl asked for half an hour more thus, I went back laying on mum's bed. & I fall asleep till she called.

However, I was still earlier. I'm offended charis! lol.

Popular to get my stationary & delifrance for lunch. The lady was super blur. We took some time before we manage to have our order taken but then, still, we kept repeating our order to her cause she kept forgetting. So, it took about 20min before we gotten our food & only 4 tables was occupied. & we were the only one ordering at that moment. They forgotten all about our drinks as well. Ohohoh..

Saw laopa & a few friends. Decided to go over to swensen to meet up with kangwen & xunzhong. chatted & hanged around the mall.

Soon, we went our way. Met charmaine & accompanied her for her late lunch at BK while waiting for leona. Yeemay happen to pass by with her mates & just then leona reached as well. Did some blogger stuff & just sat around chatting.

Charmaine went off & soon after 3 of us too. I actually left my phone behind! Thank god for yeemay. haha.

Headed toward my grand's house as charis wanted to see my cousin. Just our luck to always make our trip over when she was asleep. Tv, tv & tv.

Left, but the hamster outside the neighbour house attracted leona. So, we stood there looking at it. A few of it started acting dead while falling backwards. It's so cute.

Opened the door & realised cousin was awake. Asked grandmum if it's able for us to get one from them cause leona wanted but she wasn't sure. Seehow much leona wanted it. haha!

Make our way inside & played with little cousin. She's adorable like_. haha!

Headed for home soon after & once again, home was packed with brother's friends. Dinner, help mum with her cleaning up & tv. & then, blogging. Maybe playing wahjong with jackson later on. Hmmm.. Let's see.

I'm super lazy. Can't even concentrate on just chinese. Felt super lousy, damn.

Yet another day at home tomorrow. & It's yapyap's birthday tomorrow! But a little pity we can't celebrate tomorrow cause most of them is gonna be busy with school. ):

Tillthen. (:

See what I forced charis to do! Lol. But she had it edited. haha.

Little girl, don't be so blue.
I know what you are going through.
Don't let it beat you up. Hitting walls and getting scars, only makes you who you are.
No matter how much your heart is aching, there's beauty in the breaking.

.

One-sided.

It's 5 in the morning yet I'm still awake, not the least sleepy at all. Past few days had been the same as well. I wonder why. No matter how tired I got, I can't seems to get on to bed only when it's around 6. I start to fear. What should I do on the coming sunday. I bet I won't be able to turn in.

Wrote a letter to_ at my another getaway. It's..

Mother Tongue paper is in 5 days time! & I'm worried sick. Bless me, bless me.

20th, study section. Every Tuesday, same place with the same clique. Once again, we did the same old thing. We got all excited when we came across some topic & we went on & on. But, this time, it was better. We manage to control a little & get going with our work.

Charis's project is seriously weird yet interesting. Just a rough idea of the question. Q: How do you help control someone who fall & injured their ankle & was bed-ridden urination system physically & phycologically? I guess it's about that. Weird?

After which, we contacted Eugene & asked if he wanted a game of mahjong over at my house & he agreed. Waited for him & make our way back. Dinner & started playing. It lasted till 10. After fashion forward ended, they went off.

Tv & more mahjong. But, just for fun this time round, no cash transation involved. Soon after, it started to get bored cause there was only 3 of us & we decided to clear up.

Stared into the fan that went turning & turning up at the ceiling. No doubt, I started those thoughts running within. Somehow, I realise I can't forget him. I never could believe that he actually would mean so much to me. All those things I did in the past, rewinded. All those things that happened, reconstructed. I know, to others, it's just silliness. But yet it still mean so much to me.

The song, it reminds me of you. It kept playing & I kept thinking. It been so long yet it's still the same for me. But I won't wish for anything like I use to. It's over, I know. I just need more time to walk myself out.

Bk tomorrow morning perhaps. Tillthen.

I never know I could love so hard.

Happy 17th Birthday!

mokpeijie, pj, xiaomei, littlepj, peaj.. :D
Enjoy your day! (:

The joker in NTN.

A year ago,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwax4CssHWo

Let go of what kills you & hold on to what keeps you breathing.
But seems like both was the same thing.

Been wasting my day away like yesterday. It's hard to get started with those book, really. One min, I spend my time getting those books out, the next min, all was left there untouched. How lazy I actually can get.

O's Mother Tongue paper in one weeks time. I hope I make it through this time. Hopefully, not another disappointment. Life hasnt been good ever since I recieved my horrifing result, 3o points.

Seems like lots of things happened for the past few months. Things changes, move on. People always said that but how many actually was able to move on when they were stuck in that situation? I wonder.

Study anyone?

Leave it unknown, it's gonna be better.

Little PJ's birthday in 6 hours 22 min time. :D

You were never suppose to mean this much to me..
But you did.

Tired! Hasn't been sleeping good for the past 2 days. 7 hours of sleep in total, no wonder I feel like dying.

16ofmay,
Badminton back at Northbrooks. Played, sat around watching how they got trained, gossip & to the backstage for CounterStrike.

4ooplus for dinner & talked for 2hours. From badminton past memories to ghost stories/stuff.

Homesweethome & tv- a funny ghost show was playing.

Blanket over my head, scare. Got myself to sleep somehow.

17ofmay,
Constuction noise got me up instead of my alarmclock.

Prepared & went out. Captain ball with fatin & friends. Met allemo & make our way to check if the school could be used.

The security uncle allowed. [:

To the parade square & started the game. Not as fit as we use to be. I need to work some old bone-y! All drop sitting on the ground just after 5++ min of captain ball. Oh...

We use to be running about like mad & kept pleading the teacher to let us continue despite PE was over. Captain ball was our all time favourite. But, now, just 5++min & we all went panting. Started hanging around, resting.

Took a walk around the school & it brings back memories. It's funny/sad cause it isn't the same anymore. Sure we do miss secondary school life. & sure I do miss you somehow.

Out we went at around 2 & went our way. 6ooplus for late lunch with the usual four & chitchatting section went for 2 hours. Just hanging around & talking about all sorts of things.

Allemo & Charissoh headed home while fathand & I did what we always do, slack. For 3 hours, we just slack. Went over to meet up with sis & headed for home.

Mahjong section going on, again. Back to the room with fathand & we went talking.

Accompany her downstairs, gotten a cab for her & back home. Showered, online, tv & fall asleep. Up & decided to blog.

& now, another mahjong section brother's having. Without dinner, feeling hungry.

Perhaps I shall sleep soon cause I won't be able to sleep in. Every morning, the construction ruin my sleep. I suppose tomorrow as well.

I'm moody yet mood-less. It's a feeling I shouldn't be feeling.

Sometimes, I wish I could just 'click' & type.

Change of song. (:

Goodbye makes you think. They make you realise who you had, what you've lost & what you've taken for granted.

Taken weeks back.

Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you cant have.

Oh man, Im dying. The renovation is killing. Woke me up early at 8 when I only turn in at 6! Its way too noisy! Charis battery is gonna be dead soon & I can't complain to her. !! & there it goes again! Seriously, i wish I can get out of the house now. But Im only meeting charis at 2. Which mean 3 more hours to go, suffering. It's f-ing noisy!

Through the earpiece, It still could be hear. Damn. Not even a soft piece can be played.

Going nuts!

Desire leaves us heartbroken.

& till you face all the mistakes you've made, you'll never change.

Decided to blog all of a sudden. It's 5 in the morning. haha.

Been doing chinese the past few hours, just like yesterday night too. Chiong-ing, just like the last time I did for my art. It's super tiring yet fun. Nuts I know.. haha.

I can just die man. I don't even know how to write simple words. How could I forget! It suckssss.

Im happy all of a sudden. haha! For don't know what reason. Perhaps Im glad Im studying. haha! (: &&& Im gonna make a trip back to school for badminton in the noon! yeah-ness! haha! Been soooo long.

Past two days afternoon have been tempting. haha. Brother & friends had been playing mahjong at our house. & the thing is, I have got to control myself. The day before yesterday's yesterday, I manage to give it a pass. But on the 14th, I gave in. shitshitshit..

& I fought with danieltan. lol. Actually, Its not considered a fight afterall. haha!

& I heard there's second intake for poly at october. Hmmm, thoughts indeed went 'wow'. But after thinking perhaps I shall just stick to my private Os. Hmmm..

Later of the day is gonna be tiring. haha. But I cant wait! Captain ball as well coming saturday!! :D Time spend with friends indeed is precious. (:

Tillthen.

It's sad
when people you know, become people you knew.
when you can walk right past someone like you were never friends.
how you used to be able to talk for hours, & now you can barely look at them.

For it was a mistake, stop it.

To someone who know who he/she is himself/herself:

You never listens, you never.
No matter how much we tried to help, it's not gonna make any changes.
You're the one to sort out your thoughts.
We can't do much, we can't.

You know you need to move on.

Time is all you need.

Make the right choice this time round.

Day wasted away. Brother friend came over for mahjong & thus, I didnt study.

Played one game & danieltan month kept going & tiles landed on him. I like. haha! he brought it upon himself. haha! evil laughs! Im mean, I know.

Make a different. At least I wont regret as I did try. (:

Life wont have a purpose unless you let it have.

NTNs 2nd, o8may2008

It just take a little time.

11may
Study section turn out to be cs time. From bk to ljs. Though its without a mouse, still, it was fun. lol. Popular, gotten our stuff & walked home.

Chatted on the phone with charis soon after we part. haha. Weird I know but we just had so much to talk about. (:

Back home & fall asleep till daddy woke me up for dinner.

Lay awake till its 5.3o did I sleep, like always.

12may
Met up with yeemay. We plan to study but eventually became chit chatting section. Talk & talk, the story seems to keep going, seems like it wasnt gonna end. lol

& seems like poly life isnt as easy as I thought its gonna be. She had workload pile up like_.

Make our way over to mac when her laptop battery went dead. Charis join us soon after & yeemay went off to met her friend.

Finally, I studied. Chinese's a killer, sure it was. I got pretty stressful when I dont recognise those words. Thank god for charis & my BFF,tissue. It's an inside joke. (:

Walked home again. We prefer to walk cause the bus was packed like sardines.

Home & Im happy cause mummy isnt moody today. Somehow when shes in a good mood, she wont blow her top at us. (:

Tv & then spent some time looking up some chinese words I didnt know in the passage I did today. :D It has been about a year since I last studied for chinese. Im worried now. For real, I am. Oral had been a big problem for me like always. This time as well. The thought of going for oral again can kill. Not only oral now, I suppose situational writing too. Im so deadmeat.

12 days time. Bless me.

At least something for me to look forward to besides chinese Os. Captain Ball with the old group coming saturday! (:

You know how much I miss those time?
Like nuts..

Aint she cute? (:

Her birthday's coming & shes gonna be 2. She just so adorable. (:

The only reason people hold on to memories so tight is because they are the only things that doesn't change when everything & everyone else does.

Isn't It Ironic?
We Ignore the ones that adore us & adore the ones who Ignore us.
Love the ones who hurt us & hurt the ones that love us.

It's going to be on the 26th! Which is in 15 days time. Sad case, not the school I wanted to have the paper in. ): chinese chinese chinese! I thought I have lots of tomorrow, I thought.

current mood: very stressful & down.

I have never learn till now. I have never..

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

ILoveMyMum! :D

I stood there for long, waiting.
Finally, I realise I was dreaming.

Kbox yesterday with sebastian & weijie. Coach fly our plane. He promised & he lied. IdiotIdiot. haha! Ok, I'm lazy to type. Furthermore, I'm going out soon for dinner. Perhaps more update tonight. :D

PICTURES!

The worst thing about being lied to
is knowing that you're not worth the truth.

I just want you to be happy.

Charis send me this just then.
http://i-miss-you-daddy.freeonlinegames.com/
This is so sad. So emotional.

I believe things do get better in time. But after so long, it became worst.

The night was spent thinking things over. Lots of things had happened & I hope it do get better. I hope no one else is gonna get hurt again.

Shut myself only in the morning. Awake & a bee ruin my lunch. Kept running about to hide from the bee. It's huge! My sister & I kept screaming & pissed my brother. But when he saw it, he got a shock too. & he went hiding as well. lol.

It found it's way out eventually &i went shutting every window.

Mahjong tonight perhaps with the girls. Gonna see how it goes.

I'm so moody. ):

Perhaps..
6o9.

Just got back after NTN's celebration. Perhaps today(o8may) really isn't a good day. NTN shall change our birthday yea. haha.

Last year were omg! This year were omfg!

We planned for dinner at Taste Of Thailand. 6 of us went over first cause charis had got something on in school but we had got no idea what it was.

She called & told us she was waiting for train soon after. We waited for her for some time & started calling her. No respond despite a number of call. No reply to messages as well. For 2 hours, we sat there thinking what could have happen to her. She was never like that. & she got all of us worried sick. We thought something had happened.

When we decided to make our way to look for her, she called. At last, we were relief. as long as she's fine, it's alright. (:

Waited for her & finally dinner! We ate till it was time for the shop to end the day. lol.

Back to northpoint & off omella, pj, ml & jl went. 3 of us slacked around & looked for charmaine. Still as troubled she is, more burden..

Headed for home soon after.

Nobody taught me what to do when such a thing happen. I felt so lost.. I'd rather I don't know about it. Why must it be _? Why?

Few more hours. Perhaps I'll know what had been on _ mind.

heartbroken

it's so hard to be strong.

know what? it's NTN birthday. lol! Happy 2nd! :D
days have been wonderful with them around, no doubt. i miss the days back in school like_. it's hell lots of fun! those girlf are priceless. they're the one that make my life so unforgettable. i love them tons!

finally our catch-up section tomorrow! :D it's been like super long since all got to meet up. just can't wait. haha!

out today to cw with charis planning to get something for them but to no avail. waited for leona & the guys to end school.

met & we girls went pastamania & the guys went their way. charis started her jokes which make us when dots! haha.

walked about & soon headed back for home. didn't get to meet advisor cause she was busy. what a busy women. haha!

saw that crazy girl. lol. chit-chatted with her & walked home with charis.

so much happening in some friend's life. it's just kind of unbelieveable when all those words falls on my ear. never will i imagine it'll happen.

m! you ruin _ life & play it like you're a great player. what a jerk. you sucks big time! see this! you sucks! yes YOU! _ believe every little thing you said & this was what _ got. don't lie arsehole! look who's at fault! you have a gf & you (_____)! & that girl! what's with "hello, don't get the wrong idea, he has a gf." you know & you went ahead. wth! so what's with posting that in your blog then b!

i just can't stand him doing such a thing. okay, end.

seems like there's so much problem in life. it actually hurts to know that i can't make it better & let things work. it's somehow beyond means. i want to get it back to how it was but i fear. i didn't know how i should bring the words out. i wanted to scold _ so much but i just can't seems to make the call & asked her to f off. help man!

it's hard to pretend everything is alright when it isn't..

life, a labyrinth..

not in the mood for studies for many days. perhaps months? i dislike the way i'm behaving! but i can't seems to change. i wonder why too. but i never gotta myself an answer.

maybe i just need words... forget it..

everyone but you.

trip today to sentosa was cancel. cause charmaine is sick. next time perhaps since most of the mates are pretty busy with school.

i'm bothered by a number of things. & it sucks big time..

leona lewis's yesterday kept playing..

when we were a baby,
crying every no and then for reasons,
they never fail to be there to give a heartfelt hug & say they're here for always.

when we were a little toddler,
learning how to get on our feet,
they never fail to be their to catch us when we were to fall.

when we were young,
unaware of everything,
they never fail to answer all our 'whys'.

when we were growning up,
they never fail to be there for everything that's happening.

when they grow old,
wasn't able to catch up to our pace,
we never fail to say they were slow & demand them to hurry.

when they grow old & kept asking about us,
we tent to complain they were naggy.

when we have grown up,
we got all busy with work & stuff.
we forget about them waiting for us to be home just to have diner with us.

even if we tent to neglect them at times,
they never fail to be there for always.

they spend their lifetime watching over us,
it's time we spend some of our time to be with them.

they want nothing much.
just take some time out for them,
& they will be just glad.

spent some time with your mother on Mother's Day!
it's never hard to do so. (:

the feeling went dead.

life's so sweet with them around.

turn in super late yesterday. i was reading. haha! at least i did something useful yea. haha. but in the wrong timing. lol!

up today & went to pack food for family. haha! doing something nice feels good. haha. cause, if it's the 'old' me, i will be "don't want, ask sis/bro.' haha! but i wasn't now.

back &chit chatted with my sis. she told me something again. it's sad but what to do. those thing ain't within our reach not to mention within our control. dream on.. so f up.

someone got me smiling. :D

american next top model, antm & more antm! it's somehow nice. (:

i promise i'll study so i should tonight. haha!

okay, gonna get going for cs! felt so noob-y. haha. (:

you or you?

with you..

same old boring day i had today. i was up only at 1.3o. part of the day just spend this way. sad..

online & charis told me she was at the national library with adrian. thought of making a trip over but it's like i'll be there for an hour+ & back to yishun. thus, never.

spend my afternoon watching american's next top model on youtube. haha! pathetic i know. msn-ed with some friends to pass time. seriously, it's boring at home. study, i know. but it's just hard..

got moody at late evening for idk why. just feel super down. perhaps it's the song that i'm listening to. it keeps going for hours.. & i got all moody. dotdot.

make my way out to meet the two for dinner. while waiting, saw jackson, xunzhong & hongwei. it's so nice of jackson to accompanied me wait for them. (: the 3 of them was planning to catch the movie, iron man.

decided & had ljs for dinner. saw laopa with 'nono'! i can't even recognised 'nono'. haha! adrian rushes his way home soon after. while the rest started playing cs. saw kangwen as well.

they lost touch of cs for sometime & got all excited while playing. lol!

they went for their movie & we headed home.

cs! but i'm so lousy. haha! shall play with leona they all someday. for fun. haha.

antm! (:

in my heart..

the route is never easy..

up in the morning 8 & went walking about in my house. lol. & then back to bed.

phone rang.. "hello, your friend leona just fainted.. blahblahblah" i went "huh?" that person went " your friend..." "damien issit?" then he went "hahahaha! " sickening fellow. haha. i was dreaming of -. lol.

they skip school & wanted to catch a movie at jurong point & asked me. turn down & decided to go buddy instead with leona & charis. leona went nuts asking the same question. lol. brought my books but had lunch & went off soon after. leona went to find her baby while we headed home.

mahjong section after eugene ended his school & bball game. he's so in love with mahjong. haha! charis indeed make us laugh like crazy. she assume she was having some illness & is dying soon. assume! lol. cause her nose had bed bleeding for days & she's having some flu & sore throat. she's just so_! haha!

the game went for a few hours & i won only o.7o$. dots! eugene lose & charis, no win no lose. lol! :D

dinner at my house & now, i'm so bored!

chinese O's paper is like in 3WEEKS TIME o: !! & i'm oh-so-lost feeling. shitshitshitshit! D: 26may2008!

i'm hopeless.. so hopeless! arrrr!!

where're you?